Alice!
by iluvcarlisle
Summary: Alice gets an idea... What could possibly go wrong? Read and Review please! Random oneshots! If you don't review, I won't write.. Mwahaha!
1. Alice!

**This is Alice's point of View. Enjoy!!!!**

I was _bored. _Sunlight and Vampires... Well... Didn't mix. Edward had Bella, and Rosalie had Emmett. Esme was busy cooking for Bella. Jasper was hidden, he still blamed himself for Edward's leaving, even _after _Bella reassured him.

I was currently sitting in Jazz and I's room. He'd gone to his secret "lair." I had done _everything_! I quickly racked my mind for things to do. I could try to find Jasper, but then he would relocate his "lair." I decided we should play a game. Esme always had good ideas, I would ask her. I slowly walked to the kitchen, to find Esme making a cake.

"Hello Esme." I said.

"Hello Alice." She replied motherly.

"Esme, what can we do?? I'm _so bored!" _I sounded like a child and I knew it, but how many times can I read the same Human Anatomy book? She spun around and gave me a questioning look.

"Find Bella and Edward?"

"I tried. Bella loves it when Edward sparkles, so he was laying by the window in his room letting Bella stroke his arms and chest and-"

"Emmett and Rose?" She was staring at me. I shuddered. She gave me one of those "Oh YAH!!" looks.

"No." I replied curtly. As if on cue Emmett entered the kitchen.

"Mom. Sis." He acknowledged us. Emmett sat next to me on one of our rarely used barstools. It seemed Bella brought out the "Human" in all of us.

"Emmett. What game do you want to play?" Esme asked.

"Let me guess," He pointedly glanced at me," Alice is bored. Edward and Bella are being all snuggly, and I just got some..." He just shook his head,and kind of zoned out. Esme hit him over the head with a frying pan.

"Emmett!!" I called.

"Oh ya!! Hi guys!" For being a vampire with a perfect memory, Emmett sure was stupid. I rolled my eyes and Esme sighed.

"Esme love!" Carlisle then waltzed through the door, carrying his briefcase. "They let me go early." He gently put his arms around Esme's waist. She snuggled into his chest. They were adorable together. Emmett ruined the moment with his big mouth.

"Aww!!! You guys are so _sweet!" _ He cooed. Carlisle walked over to him.

He held up three fingers,"How many fingers son?" He asked very seriously. Emmett looked at him and burst out laughing. "Yes, hes fine." Carlisle sighed and shook his head. He returned to Esme's side and kissed her gently on the mouth.

"No wonder you don't get any action..." Emmett mumbled. Carlisle snarled. Quickly for Carlisle, Emmett was out the door and well on his way to Timbuktu. Esme kissed Carlisle again. Good and Deep. They were actually in full make out mode when Rosalie walked in. Her hair was wet. I could only guess...

"Nasty!" She exclaimed.

"Oh Rose! Thats their first PDA this week!"

"It _not my _fault Carlisle can't get some booty." In the blink of an eye, Rosalie had joined Emmett. I fell to the floor clutching my sides with laughter.

Suddenly, an idea hit me over the head... _literally._ Emmett had thrown an empty bottle of water at me.

"I got it!" I screeched suddenly. Jasper was at my side in a second.

"What? What happened? Are you okay?" He started looking me over. I gently touched his cheek.

"I'm good, I got an _idea._ Calm down..." He immediately calmed.

"What idea?" Carlisle had come up for air.

"_Well, while some of us were busy making out, I, got an idea... WE CAN PLAY SPIN THE BOTTLE!" _ I announced. Immediately everyone was in the kitchen.

"No way." Edward snarled. He wrapped his arm protectively around Bella

"She doesn't have to play!" I tried logic first, force was plan B.

"Fine. I'm in." Edward reluctantly agreed. Carlisle looked to Esme and they communicated.

"We shall join." Carlisle said.

"Cool. Emmett. Rose." I asked.

"Have we _ever _not played a make out game?" Emmett was astounded I would ask. I grabbed the bottle and looked around at them all.

"Let the games begin..." Bella buried her head farther in Edward's chest as he longing stroked her hair.

"_Awww!!!! _You guys are so-"

"Shut up Emmett!" Carlisle bellowed.

I started walking to the living room closely followed by my family. Edward and Bella took the large white couch, that didn't stop them from sitting on top of each other. Emmett and Rose took the love seat, sitting side by side. Carlisle and Esme took the other side of the couch, he wrapped his arm around Esme 's waist. Jazz and I sat on the chair opposite, I sat on his lap.

"Who wants to go-"

"I will!!" Emmett screamed. You think after a hundred years he would pick up on the super sensitive hearing, but thats Emmett. He grabbed the water bottle and spun it lightly His eyes were giving away his excitement.

"Emmett, calm down." jasper begged. The water bottle stopped... pointing at me.

"Nope! Not happening, I refu-"

"This is your game..." Edward chided.

"Fine!" I gave up, I would lose anyway. I kissed Jasper then confronted Emmett. He looked obviously sad too.

"Eww!!! Mommy!!! I don't want to kiss my sister!" Emmett complained. Esme shrugged.

"Are you scared Emmett??" Bella cooed.

"..N-...No..." He replied haughtily.

"Sure..." Jasper agreed.

"Come _on!" _Edward groaned. "Hes a big Vampire! He can do it..." Edward confronted Emmett from Bella's neck.

"Fine." Emmett huffed.

I flipped my hair over my shoulder and carefully bent over the coffee table toward Emmett. He did the same. I nodded to him and we both leaned in. Our lips met for a second and I pulled back.

"Ew!!!! Alice!!! Nasty!!!" Emmett was wiping the back of his hand repeatedly over his full lips.

"Its okay." Rosalie reassured him. She leaned in and brushed her lips against his.

"All better?" Bella asked.

"Ya.." Emmett was back to his cocky self.

"Umm... I'm _great! _Thanks for asking..." I trailed off suggestively and scowled at Jasper.

"Next!" Bella called.

"I'll go." Esme answered. Esme bent forward and spun the bottle...

"Nasty..." Rosalie snarled.

"Ah..." Emmett cooed.

"Are you going to??" Carlisle trailed off.

"No comment..." Jasper added his comment as well.

"Mom, you are brave." I praised Esme. Anybody should get an award for kissing Edward.

"Lets get this over with." Edward mumbled. He kissed Bella's neck and cautiously bent over the table towards Esme. They both leaned in, they broke apart immediately. Edward returned to Bella's side and brushed his lips against Bella's. She was blushing furiously.

"Okay! Okay!" Jasper yelled. He covered his mouth and made retching noises. "I'm spinning." He added. Jasper stepped forward to meet his doom. He spun the bottle and returned to his relaxed stance.

Edward's eyes bulged.

Bella let out a cry of disbelief.

Emmett fell to the floor... _laughing. _

Rosalie made retching noises.

Esme snarled.

Jasper actually turned green.

Carlisle was the first to speak.

"I refuse..." He said in between gasping breaths.

"I _totally agree." _Jasper was no longer casual. He was ready to bolt for the bathroom.

Carlisle had turned paler than normal, he was going to lose his cool.

"RUN!" Emmett bellowed. Edward grabbed Bella and bolted. Rosalie and Emmett ran. Jasper grabbed me and sprinted to our room. Esme stayed behind. When we got to our room Jasper said a small prayer for Carlisle.

"May God help Esme! Shes such a brave soul, and Car-"

"I _refuse to play such a CHILDISH," _ Carlisle spat the word,"_game! Edward was right as usual! This was a stupid idea from Alice and I..."_

"_Honey! Its fine!" _Esme was playing the reassuring wife

"NO! Its not!!! I _refuse _to kiss my son, Esme..." He was pacing.

"Please Carlisle! For me..." She whispered," Relax!"

"Yes... Yes I must..." He seemed more concerned with convincing himself. He raked his hands through his blond hair and sat down.

"Are you ready to play again? Shall I call the kids?" Esme was again concerned about us.

"No! We are done with this game!"

"Aw!!! Are you sure little Carlisle's not chicken?" Emmett did not take a hint.

Carlisle turned toward him and let loose a feral snarl. If I had ever feared being murdered, it was now.

"Jasper!" He was on the floor laughing.

"Yup!... Alice!" He gasped in between laughs.

"I guess your right. This is hilarious."

"Uh... Oh..." That was all Emmett got out before Carlisle got him. Emmett's ear would never be the same. "Mercy! I said Mercy! Let me go!"

"Who's scared _now?"_ Carlisle snarled. He had Emmett by the ear, and was dangling him form the balcony.

"Um... Dad?" Edward called. **Ding Dong. **What wonderful timing the visitor had.

"I am getting the door..." Rosalie called out.

"Yup." Esme reassured her.

Rosalie opened the door to _Mike. _She turned toward us and called out one word.

"Edward!"

"Yes Rose?" Edward had come to the balcony alright. In his boxers, Bella followed suit in a towel. Edward ran his hands through his hair and descended the staircase with Bella.

"Hey Mike!" Edward was all smiles and waves, probably from the look on Mike's face. Mike couldn't rip his eyes from Edward's muscled chest and runners thighs. Edward carefully bent and hoisted Bella's towel, so only he could see. Bella relaxed into Edward's touch.

"Here." Mike brought forward an envelope. Rosalie turned and nodded to Edward. He grabbed Bella's waist and took off up the stairs.

"What _is is?_" Rosalie asked snidely. She carefully gave the envelope to Jasper, who opened it.

"Its our conference times..." Jasper shook his head in blatant disbelief.

"_You _came _here _to give _us conference times?_" Edward snarled from the stairs. Mike meekly nodded.

"Please. Leave." Carlisle suggested.

"Yes, please." Esme was pleading, we all knew by Edward's tone he was about to lose it. Bella intervened. She put her arms around Edward's neck and kissed him. He lifted Bella easily and sighed into the kiss. Smiling

Bella bent and began kissing at Edward's waist along his boxers.

"Get a room." Emmett contradicted.

"Like _you ever _get a room..." Jasper added his opinion. For being quiet he sure was opinionated. Suddenly, there was a moan. Quiet, but we had sensitive hearing. Carlisle and Esme smiled at each other, but didn't move. All the others and myself looked though.

Bella caught my eye and blushed... Edward was on the floor... With _a tiny personal _problem...

"Edward? Bro? You might want to..." Emmett was just staring. Hardly believing his own eyes. As if to prove my point. He lifted his hands and rubbed them ferociously across his eyes, blinked, and did a double take. Edward was still moaning.

"Bella? You might... Want to..." Everyone turned to glare at Mike. "I'm leaving!" He mumbled.

"Yup!"

"Okay!"

"Bye!"

"Bella..."

My goodness... Carlisle looked and just about had an aneurysm. After that Esme looked. "HUNTING!" Carlisle bellowed. Jasper and Rosalie immediately followed suit. Emmett and I were obviously fascinated by what was happening here.

Bella was now straddling Edward kissing him, like never before. He was raking his hands through her hair and

moaning.

WHOA! Look at Bella... I always knew she was a smart human. Always liked her. Holy Crap! Look at Edward! He has a...large personal problem... Horny Vampire...

"Alice..." Edward growled.

I put on my best innocent face. The one I usually reserve for Rosalie,"Yes Edward?" Work the puppy dog eyes... I batted my eyelashes, and looked at my feet.

"Lets go!" Carlisle bellowed.

"Coming!" Emmett ran as fast as he could from the room.

"Rosalie." I stated matter of factly . No one could make Emmett run as fast as Rosalie could. It was one of her unusual gifts.

"SO?"

"Shut it! Geez!" Bella and Edward were apparently done. I crossed my fingers.

"You done?" I asked.

Edward glared at me. "Yes. Thank You."

I decided to annoy Edward. It was so easy. All I had to do was complain, about anything. I could complain about teddy bears and Edward would be mad. "Nobody in this family can do anything without complaining! GEEZ!" I looked at Edward to make sure he was listening and found his head where it usually was. Bella's neck. They were sitting on the couch. Bella on Edward's lap. Her head was back on the headrest, exposing her neck to Edward and he was taking full advantage of the opportunity. "THEY ARE DONE!" I screeched.

"Ah! Good." Carlisle sounded relieved.

"Finally!" Emmett replied.

"Lust sucks!" Jasper allowed.

"Good for you guys." Just guess. It was Esme.

Bella was the last to speak," You know what?"

"Hm???" Edward replied from her neck.

"I wish Mike would come over more often..."

**REVIEW PLEASE!!!! Pretty Please!!!!**


	2. Emmett!

"Emmett!"

"Alice!"

"Emmett!"

"Alice!"

"_Emmett!"_

"_Alice!"_

"Bella!" I shrieked. Alice and Emmett were definitely starting to get on my nerves. They had been going back and forth for at least an hour. We'd tried everything.

Edward and I had settled for sitting on the white love seat. He put his head on my shoulder and I tilted my head back, exposing my neck .Every time Alice or Emmett would yell a name, Edward would whisper "I love you." softly into my ear. I would then gently kiss his full, cold lips. We had this routine down to a science thanks to Emmett and Alice.

Rosalie walked down the stairs and smiled at me. Smiling back I quickly refocused on Edward. Rosalie was going to put our plan into action.

"Emmett?" Rosalie purred.

"Rosalie! Hey..." Emmett was working hard to not start drooling.

"Baby? I'm so bored!" Rosalie walked over to poor, helpless Emmett. Swaying her hips she sat on his lap," Maybe we could go," Grinding against Emmett. He looked hopeless. His eyes were following every move Rosalie made. From the sway of her hips, to the curve of her lips. "Have some fun..." She trailed off suggestively.

Emmett's topaz eyes had gone huge and his mouth was hardly managing to stay closed. "Yup... Yes... I'm coming!" Jasper made a retching noise and went to Alice.

"Hello." Alice murmured quietly. She sat herself in Jasper's lap.

"Hmm..." Edward sighed into my neck. Sending shivers up my spine.

"ESME!" Carlisle called. He strolled down the stairs. Stopping only to warmly greet me.

"Carlisle?" Esme walked out of the kitchen. Carlisle stopped seemingly transfixed by every move Esme made.

"...Esme..." Carlisle's eyes were following the elegant sway of Esme's hips. Seeing this I glanced at Jasper. He was slowly going paler.

"Yes?" She stroked Carlisle's cheek. It was amazing watching him relax at her touch. Carlisle put his hands on Esme's waist and she leaned into his chest. Carefully planting kisses on his exposed chest.

Jasper was the color of freshly fallen snow. Edward sighed and let his hands wander down my hips.

"THATS IT!" Jasper bellowed. Suddenly everyone was in the living room. Alice had spring up. Carlisle and Esme were back to earth. Emmett had his shirt off, and Rosalie was only wearing her bra, but they came as well. Edward was holding me tightly. "WHATS GOING ON?? YOU ARE ALL ACTING DEPRIVED! THE LUST IS THICK AS SMOG!!!!" Jasper looked like a mad man. His hands were in his hair and his topaz eyes were dancing.

"Um... Sorry?" Emmett looked skeptical.

"NO! Stop!" Jasper yelled. He took his hands out of his hair and started pacing.

"Jasper?" Alice was using her many powers of persuasion. "Whatever we need to do. We'll do it."

"What!?" Emmett and Rosalie looked up at the same time. Alice glared at Emmett. "Yes ma'am." Emmett fake saluted.

"Okay." Jasper was smirking. "Heres the plan." He looked at each of us in turn. "Nobody gets more physical contact than holding hands," Emmett's jaw was on the floor. Carlisle and Esme were holding each other for dear life. I grabbed Edward's waist and held on for life also.

"You can't do that to us!" Carlisle's accent was coming out in his speech.

"Honey?"

"Love. He is depriving us of..." Carlisle got a weird look on his face and nodded.

"I know, but we've got to try." Esme was trying to reason with him.

"I refuse." Edward flat out disagreed.

"Come on! _Alice said anything..._" Alice had huddled in the corner. Emmett was advancing on her with a nasty look in his eyes

"_You little sh-_"

"Emmett Mccarthy Cullen!" Esme grabbed Emmett's ear. "Don't _you dare._" Esme was snarling.

"Esme? Love?" She gracefully walked across the room to Carlisle.

"Okay. The time starts now." Edward pried me off his waist, and sat on the couch. He grabbed my hand and started kissing it everywhere his lips would go.

Carlisle and Esme left the room and entered the kitchen. Arguing in hushed tones. Rosalie and Emmett looked utterly clueless. Rosalie kind of snarled at Jasper and walked up to their room.

"STOP! EMMETT! ROSALIE! YOU'RE BREAKING THE RULES!"

Emmett appeared the next second on the stairs platform,"You want me to break something?" He hissed.

"_Nobody touch my house!" _Esme reminded them.

"Yes mom!" Emmett screeched.

"Thats it!" Edward pounced on me. Crushing his lips to mine and letting his hands wander. I kissed him back hungrily. Craving the physical contact.

"You broke the rules!" Emmett was pointing at us and looked ready to go break the rules himself.

"Bella..." Edward had resumed his earlier position. Kissing my neck. "I missed you..."

"We can tell." Jasper sourly retorted.

"No more rules?" Carlisle asked.

"Nope!" Edward replied cheerily from my neck.

"YES!" Carlisle grabbed Esme and they were upstairs before I could blink.

"I know! I love you!" Emmett was rejoicing.

"Carlisle! Stop!" Then some absurd giggling.

"I don't want to know..." Alice snickered.

"I love you." Edward replied.

"I love you too." I murmured.

"I hate you all..."


	3. Esme!

**This is Esme's point of view!!! Enjoy! HEY! I'm so sorry, but this one isn't very funny...**

"Mommy??" Emmett bellowed. What could he possibly want now? I was _trying _to dust my husband's office.

"Being the loving mother I am, I answered. "Yes?"

He immediately appeared in the doorway. I walked over to him. His head was hung and his eyes were large. That could only mean one thing. Rosalie. I wrapped my arms around his torso, I couldn't reach any higher. "What's wrong?" Emmett stuck out his full bottom lip. Making me immediately think of Carlisle and his lips...

"MOMMY!!! You weren't listening!!!" Emmett was snapping his fingers an inch from my face. I sighed and repeated all he'd said.

"Rosalie and you were... busy." That was code in this house. We had no secrets. "You got up and took a shower, Rosalie got dressed and went to work on her cars. You got sad and went into the garage to help, she said "no." Did I miss anything?" I was sure sick of Emmett's issues with Rosalie. Honestly! How many times had they had this fight?

Silently counting I figured we were maybe up to three hundred. Why couldn't they be more like Edward and Bella? I heard a ghostly chuckle from upstairs.

"YOU'RE WELCOME!" I yelled in the general direction of Edward.

"... MOMMY!" Would Emmett shut up!?

Faking a smile, I responded with a bright "yes"?

"What if..." His lower lip trembled. I squeezed him lightly.

"Its okay! She's loved you for around a hundred years..." I almost shook my head in blatant disbelief.

Emmett squished me against his chest, beaming. "Thanks mom!"

I laughed quietly. "Your welcome.." Emmett took off in the direction of the garage, probably to sort things out with Rosalie.

Shutting the door, I turned back to Carlisle's office. Silently pleading for him to get home early. I missed him. He'd been at the hospital late, there'd been a crash. He was so amazing. His restraint and his unconditional love. I was probably one of the luckiest people in the world, able to live for eternity with Carlisle.

I dropped my duster and sank into Carlisle's large, buttery leather chair. Gently I ran my hands over the handles, imagining his large but gentle, hard as rock but amazingly soft hands there. I knew them well. The smooth of his palm, and the pale skin of his knuckles.

I drew my knees to my chest and snuggled into the comforting scent, that I knew so well. Looking at the wood of his desk, I could easily place him here. In this chair, his beautiful blond hair in his eyes. How he would shake it, in frustration or because it was in his eyes. The smooth, pink, plump flesh of his lips. The topaz eyes, glittering, framed by the dark lashes. Or his angular nose and cheekbones.

How he would unbutton the top button on his shirts and roll up the sleeves. Revealing his bare chest, and forearms. How he would gently caress my neck when I was stressed. How he would run his hands through his hair, very much like Edward. How when he got home, he would find me and gently capture my waist in his vise like grip. How I would relax into his arms as if I hadn't seen him in years. How we would explore each other as if we were newly weds. How he was so gentle and caring. Accepting and kind.

I closed my eyes, praying, wanting, _needing _him. As if God had answered, I heard a musical chuckle. "Esme..."

Opening my eyes I found him where I knew I would, in the doorway. Holding his briefcase. He carefully dropped it, and shut the door. Carlisle hung up his white lab coat. Revealing a dark blue button down and black slacks. Running his hands through his hair, he walked to me. Grabbing me from the chair, he set me in front of him. I couldn't think of anything to say.

"Carlisle..." I sighed into his hand. Placing his hands gently on my cheeks, he leaned in. I could now sympathize with Bella. Never would I get tired of the perfection that was Carlisle. As cliché as this was, I loved him. If he wanted the moon, I would get it for him, he deserved it. More than anyone I knew.

Meeting him halfway, I crushed my lips greedily to his. Moaning delicately at the back of my throat, I ran my hands through his hair.

"Esme... Dear?" Carlisle had a curious look in his eyes.

I frowned and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Hm?" I skimmed my nose over his collarbone and up his neck.

Carlisle sighed, smiled and leaned his head back. Exposing his neck. "Esme..." He whispered.

"Yes?" I knew he couldn't think when I did this.

"I can't think..." He sighed.

"You don't need to." I replied firmly. He'd spent all day thinking, I wanted him to relax.

"But-" I placed a finger on his lips.

"No... Its okay." I cooed.

"Esme?" He lifted his head and picked me up. Walking gracefully over to his leather chair he sat us down. "Are you okay? I love you. You know that..." He trailed off, a curious look on his face.

I grimaced. I had never doubted his love for me. _Never. _"Carlisle, what is it?" I was concerned, he rarely beat around the bush.

"Are you okay?" He lovingly stroked my hand with his.

Staring into his topaz eyes, I had an epiphany . "Honey! Yes! I mean.. No... I mean..." Darnet! I silently cursed myself."Carlisle, I have never doubted your love... I just missed you..." I mumbled the last part.

He was looking unrelentingly into my eyes, and he smiled. "I love you." His nose was carefully tracing my collarbone and neck. He'd once told me he loved my neck. Just as Edward must love Bella's.

"I know." I kissed his cold, full lips, and immediately reached toward the buttons on his shirt.

"Okay... So before you all get hot and steamy," I rested my hands on his chest and leaned in also resting my forehead there. Carlisle had more tolerance, he answered.

"Yes? Rosalie?"

"This is disgusting! I can not believe I walked in on my _parents... YUCK!_" She turned her head and made fake retching noises.

"Rosalie! Please!" Carlisle was trying to reason with her.

Rosalie faked a sweet smile and got to the point. "We're all going hunting... But Edward... He's at Bella's. Went yesterday... " She walked away. I resumed kissing Carlisle's rock hard chest. Rosalie was immediately back in the doorway. "Alice says _ its_ in the closet..."


	4. Jasper!

**Jasper point of View... ENJOY!!!**

Alice stuck out her full bottom lip. "I wanna play!" She whined.

I had to be firm, this was a matter of manliness. Emmett would mock me forever if I gave in now. "No." I said firmly.

She walked toward me, using the full power of her little hips. "Please?" She looked up under her lashes.

My mouth was slightly agape as I realized I was giving in. "You can't... I'm so sorry..." I bent down to kiss her.

"Nope." I gave her a puzzled look. She gave me the puppy dog eyes and answered. "You don't let me play, I don't let you kiss." Alice shrugged and continued out the door of Carlisle's office.

I couldn't live without her! I would go mad...er... "Wait!"

Alice peeped back thorough the door, a triumphant smile lit her face. "Hm?" She asked. Already I knew I was toast. She was sending off waves off lust.

"You can play..." I breathed. She walked to me, and planted her lips firmly on mine. I just about had her out of her mini skirt when I heard him.

"Jasper? Are you coming?" Edward. Much politer than Emmett, still interrupting.

I snarled and replied with a mental "yes". Knowing Edward would understand.

Slowly I put back on Alice's skirt. She grabbed my arm and towed me downstairs. Emmett's eyes were huge.

"You didn't..." He whispered.

Edward smirked. "He did." Glaring at Edward I asked him a mental question. _What would you do if your wife was... Slightly persuasive?... _Edward's eyes had gone large, I'd just taken a low blow. _Sorry, but you get the idea..._

"Dude!! You gave into Alice." For some reason Emmett was emanating worry. I glared at him skeptically.

Smirking, I walked to him. "How long til Rose gets down here?" My eyes were large and my voice was innocent.

Emmett made a whimpering noise, and stuck out his bottom lip. "I don't know! She takes forever to get dressed! Again..." Emmett trailed off. A faraway look in his eyes.

"Geez! You could at least talk about me in private!" Rose playfully whacked Emmett. Wrapping his arms around Rose's waist, Emmett sat Rosalie on top of him. Edward was radiating worry, capturing my attention. _She'll be fine. She loves you. _He nodded to me. "Thanks", he mouthed. _No problem. _

"Okay, so we need to figure out where Carlisle and Esme are... Shall we start brainstorming?" Alice was the ring leader, I would give her that. She was smart and perfect and... "Jazzy? You start."

I gently shook my head to dispel my thoughts and answered the question. "Maybe Carlisle was redecorating at the hospital..." Edward nodded and spoke next.

"Well..." Again came the worry.

"Bella's fine. I mean shes right upstairs." Still worried. "Go get her. She sleeps better in your arms anyway..."

Edward looked like he had won a million dollars as he dashed up the stairs to get Bella. He came back in about five seconds with Bella in his arms, radiating content. He was murmuring comforting things to Bella.

"Okay Edward..." He looked up abruptly and kissing Bella's neck answered.

"Why do we care? They are big Vampires... They can take care of themselves..."

Emmett was having an aneurysm. "DUH!!! THEY ARE LIKE..." Emmett scratched his head and said something I never thought I would hear Emmett say. "I'm worried..." Rosalie patted Emmett's huge shoulder and reassuringly kissed him.

"'Kay... My turn... Maybe they're taking another honeymoon?" Alice nodded in agreement.

Emmett smiled and shook his head "no."

"What's your idea? Emmett?" Bella asked. We all gawked at her. She was apparently not sleeping.

"..." Emmett's eyes went big and his mouth fell open. "Maybe the aliens got them..." Alice abruptly broke down into laughter.

"YA! And maybe Edward isn't a virgin..." Rosalie said skeptically.

Edward jumped up and pointed a finger at Rosalie. "WRONG! I AM NO LONGER A VIRGIN!"

Still skeptical Rosalie asked her next question. "Proof?"

Edward looked totally floored. "What the heck Rose? What proof do you need?" The human. Geez. Don't agitate a sleepy human.

"Well, moving on..."

"I think Carlisle and Esme are in their room..." Bella added. We were all floored. Alice closed her eyes and checked.

"Darn! The human is right..."

Bella rolled her eyes and turned to Edward. "Lets go. I'm tired." Edward chuckled and ran himself and Bela back to his room.

Alie suddenly froze. When she opened her eyes she was smirking. "Three... Two... One..." Simultaneously we heard a... Rather loud moan.

"Bella!" Alice and I broke down into a silent fit of laughter.

"Thats darn good proof.." Alice stated.

Rosalie pouted and Emmett kissed her.

None of us noticed a rather... Frazzled Esme come to the balcony. "Where is it? ALICE!" She was slightly red in the face and I could tell they were not using Carlisle's study to work.

"The closet... Remember?" Alice sounded skeptical.

"Oh! Thank You..." She walked back to the office and Carlisle appeared at the stairs. Wearing his black slacks and nothing else I got a clue.

"They are in the laundry room." Alice told him.

"Thanks..."

"What _is "it"?_" Rosalie asked.

Alice looked at each of us on turn and answered in an eerie voice. "A French maid costume..."

**Well, there it is! All of you wonderful reviewers who were wondering what "IT" was!!! A French maid costume... Hm... I don't think they are cleaning... Review please!!!**


	5. Rosalie!

**This is Rosalie's point of View... Enjoy! Okay, so I have a question for all my faithful reviewers... I am writing a little story that has NOTHING to do with Twilight or any of the characters, I will post it if you want. Just tell me "yes" or "no" when you review... THANKS A TON! **

"Ah! Carlisle HELP!" It was big, and black and hairy... No, I am not talking about Alice... It was a spider. A huge, ginormous spider. "Help! Edward! Jasper!" Why was nobody coming? It was coming towards me... Probably drawn by my beauty, but still! This was hideous! "Help! AH!!! ITS COMING AT ME!"

Carlisle walked into the room with a Kleenex. "Rosalie? I need you to take three," He held up three fingers. "deep breaths... Okay?" Carlisle was talking to me as if I was a child. Me, a _kid... _

"You do realize I am..." One, two, three..."seventy four years old... Right?" And _still gorgeous._ Anyway...

He chuckled quietly. "I am over three hundred..." HMPH. He had me beat by... A LOT...

Carlisle walked to the spider and captured it in the Kleenex. I breathed a sigh of relief, the hideous beast was gone. "Thanks." I quickly added.

Carlisle smiled and nodded, his way of saying "you're welcome." With Carlisle gone, I quickly sank onto Emmett's and my bed. That was absolutely traumatizing, my under eye circles must look bad. Deciding I had time, I went into the bathroom.

Looking at my gorgeous reflection, I was reminded of Bella. For some reason I felt... _Guilty _lately. Guilty about being mean to her and disrespecting Edward. Knowing I should apologize, I set off to find the natives.

They were in Edward's room. "Is everybody decent?" Edward's musical chuckle was the sound I heard. "I'm gonna guess "no"..."

"We are." Bella was at the door. Slightly ruffled. _Edward? Did you just get some booty_? My eyes had gone large and innocent. He nodded. Minuscule and discreet, but a nod. I winked at him. _How was it? _He shivered. _Good? Well..._ Now he knew what he had missed.

"Hello." Edward smiled in greeting.

I nodded and swallowed my pride. "Well, I came to apologize... Formally, to both of you. For Volterra..." I whispered the last part. Knowing the hurt would flit across Edward's face. Also knowing that Bella would crawl into his arms... All the comfort of a hot bath for humans, but a major relief to Edward.

Bella ran her hands through Edward's hair, a pang of actual jealousy ran through me. She wasn't meant for him... I was. Emmett. He was the world to me, my world truly revolved around him. I was satisfied knowing that they were both meant for each other. It was sweet. "I'm sorry... I love Edward and couldn't stand seeing him so hurt... So I was selfish..." Well, nothing new there.

Bella got up and wrapped her arms around me. "Its okay." She smiled at Edward. I knew what was coming before Edward said it.

"If Bella forgives you... I do." He met Bella's eyes on his last two words, and my mouth fell open.

My face broke into the biggest, stupidest grin that had ever been plastered there. "No way..."

Bella's face had gone beet red. She walked back to Edward. "Hm..." Edward sighed contentedly into her hair.

"I'll leave you two alone..." I winked. "By the way, I'm tell Esme." Edward shrugged. As soon as I got to the balcony I screamed. "HECK YES! SHE SAID YES!"

Esme was by my side in a minute with Carlisle in tow. Jasper and the hideous one showed up too. "I told you so." Alice was always the first one to tell me I was wrong.

I grinned sarcastically. "Thanks." I drew it out.

Edward and Bella appeared next. "So she told you..." He said nonchalantly. Thats when it happened.

"A...A... SPIDER ! KILL IT!!!! KILL IT!!! WHY DID EMMETT HAVE TO GO HUNTING!!!! HE LEFT ME HERE TO DIE!!!!" I catapulted into Jasper's arms. He laughed at the real fear radiating out of my every, beautiful pore.

"Hello? Rose?" Emmett.

I ran as fast as I could into his arms. "EMMETT! YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT! THE KILLER SPIDER!!! IT WAS HUGE AND... AND..." I rested my head against his shoulder.

"Are you okay? Because next time I go hunting, you are coming with." His voice held a note of finality. "GEEZ! I leave you home alone for _twenty minutes..._"

**There you all have it. Twenty minutes in the life of Rosalie... REVIEW PLEASE!**


	6. Edward!

**This is Edward's Point of View. ENJOY! And once again I would like to thank my faithful reviewers. This story is dedicated to all of you. This is very fluffy! **

_Bella..._Thank God nobody could read my mind. They would think I was obsessed. While I'm not going to deny it, I wouldn't call it an obsession... I would call it _love. _

Love... I found it too... petty a word to use about her. I was addicted. To every move and facial expression, trip and fall. I was addicted to Bella. The way her cheeks would warm with embarrassment... Or how she looked when she was laying in the sun (She calls _me _an angel!).

Love was what made two people feel bound to each other. I was no person, a person had a beating heart. I was a monster, in the rarest and purest form. A vampire. Craving people's blood every second I spent near them. Craving Bella's company so much I couldn't leave her. Our relationship was very different from any I had witnessed, even my family's.

They all had the physical to thrive on. Bella and I couldn't get... _physical. _I could seriously hurt her. We could touch each other and drive ourselves crazy with want, but we never went any farther. I could feel Bella's frustration as I would kiss her. Kiss her warm, full, lips. I touched my own lips, missing the feel of Bella's there.

This was always the hardest part. Laying next to her. Bella's warm body pressed up against my cold one. Bella talking in her sleep... It drove me mad... Not being able to see her mind's innermost thoughts and desires. She would murmur my name and then sigh. Same with "I love you," murmur it and roll over.

When she would murmur "I love you," I always wondered the same thing... Me or Jacob? Leech or Wolf? Which one? I wanted desperately to read her mind... Just for one day. One minute. Just to know she was murmuring about me.

I knew the wolf was better for her... There was no denying that, but she claimed I had her heart. I knew she had mine... I could feel it when I went hunting. The pull of being away from her. Missing the warmth, craving the comfort of her arms, begging for the perfect fit of our bodies together. Away, I would do anything to have her with me. But what was _anything?_

I would go to the ends of the earth, if it made her happy. I would leave her life and never return, if that made her life easier. But thats where I always get stuck. _I would leave her life and never return, if that made her life easier. _

I couldn't. Never, I wouldn't even try. Leaving Bella was like leaving half my being behind. Leaving behind.. _Everything. _Thats what leaving Bella meant.

It meant leaving behind the arms that comforted. And the lips that loved. It meant leaving _her. _She was everything that I lived for, if she died I would soon follow. My world didn't exist without Bella.

Thats why I had asked. Popped the question. Would she dare marry me? A vampire. She always said she loved me... Everything about me... So why not marry me? Because Bella wasn't _that _girl. The country hick, that got knocked up by her boyfriend... But I had been _that _boy... The one that was polite, always a gentle man, well respected and well on my way to a good life.

Then the epidemic hit. I don't remember much about it, Carlisle changed me... Made me what I am... I had a lot of regrets... But Bella seriously changed my life... I wouldn't let her go... Not easily.

Upon inspecting Bella's alarm clock, I figured it was time to wake up the angel. My favorite part of the day. I gently kissed her cheek and positioned myself by her collarbone. "Bella? Angel?" I murmured. Bella always said my voice was like silk when I would wake her.

She rolled over and groaned, attempting to bury her head in her pillow. I wasn't having it. Carefully, I flipped her over to look at me. I smiled the biggest, stupidest smile upon seeing her blush. I loved the blushes. I would miss them... Terribly. She was so eager for forever... I scowled momentarily knowing Bella would notice. "Wake up Bella... We have school..." I whispered, kissing her neck and laying my head over her heart. Bella buried her hands in my hair.

She spoke in barely a whisper, but I heard. "Do we _have _to Edward?"

"What do you mean?" I couldn't believe my ears. She wanted to skip class.

I leaned up to her lips and gently brushed mine against hers, loving the feel of them. As her heart beats got more frenzied I backed away. "I want to skip." Her voice, soft as silk, held an unquestionable note of finality.

"Okay. What do you want to do?" I was curious. Was she going to see the mutt?

Smiling she responded. "Lay hear."

Grinning like a fool, I nodded and switched our positions. So Bella was on my chest and I could bury my nose in her hair. She put her nose on my chest. I sighed contented, Bella smiled against my skin.

Suddenly, she looked up at me. A question in her eyes. "Can..." Bella was blushing like crazy.

I stroked her cheek. "Yes?" It was driving me mad, times like this that I wish I could read her mind.

She looked down and reached the top button of my shirt. Unbuttoning the top button, she looked up at me. I searched her brown pools for a sign of trouble. Finding none, I nodded. Bella looked shocked and eagerly unbuttoned my shirt.

I watched with growing pleasure as she replaced each button with a kiss. Her warm lips felt incredible on my cold skin. She gently put her head on my chest and trailed her nose up and over my neck. Upon reaching my face, she glanced longingly at my lips.

"Kiss me." I breathed into her face. She met my eyes, searching for a reason, besides my love. There was none, she closed the gap quickly.

Bella was breathing heavily as we broke apart. She climbed onto my bare chest, fitting herself perfectly to me. I kissed her head, Bella kissed my chest.

"I love you." I murmured. Surprised at the surge in feeling... The ultimate high...

I watched as the feeling of love washed over Bella. "I love you too..." She said.

It hit me then. She _did _love only me. She has my heart. I have hers. We were meant for each other. Our love was forbidden, but look. Now we were in it over our heads, I cherished the feeling that washed over us.

When she murmured in her sleep it was about me... When she day dreamed in class it was about us... _Us..._

**REVIEW!!! Pretty please!!! With a cherry and Edward on top!!! PLEASE!!! THANKS!!!**


	7. Carlisle!

**This is Carlisle's Point of View!!! Read and Review please!!!**

"FUN SUCKER!!!"

I snarled and ran towards the noise. Did they not respect the fact that I was trying to work? "Emmett McCarthy Cullen!" I grabbed onto my blond hair, upon seeing the mess.

He frowned at the floor and looked up. Wearing his best "innocent face." Rule Number One : Emmett is never innocent! "I'm sorry?" He was going to wish he was dead (no pun intended) when Esme heard about this.

Taking a deep breath I addressed Emmett. "You _broke Esme's favorite vase_? " Emmett nodded meekly. This is where Rule Number Two is applied. Rule Number Two: If you don't have a death wish, don't ruin Esme's house.

"I'm so sorry!!! Please don't tell her!!!" Emmett was on his hands and knees pleading with me. Rule Number Three: Emmett always gets on his hands and knees when hes desperate. Don't spare him. He is a big Vampire. (Though I have to say, Esme can be _pretty _scary...)

I thoughtfully tapped my chin... Tell her now, or tell her later??? "Okay Emmett. But clean up this mess! And no X box for a month." I watched as Emmett's eyes widened in fear.

He was back on his hands and knees before I could blink. "NOO!!! PLEASE DEAR GOD!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!"

I frowned at him. "You must hold up your end of the bargain..."

He stuck out his lower lip. "But X box._.." _

I nodded slowly. "Yes." My voice held a note of authority. Knowing Emmett's dislike for authority, he would back down.

Emmett "humphed" and ran off to get the cleaning materials. "Edward!!" Bella yelled down the stairs. There was a random giggle and Bella came shooting past me. Edward hot on her tail, going Human speed.

Could this day get any worse? "Edward? Bella?" Edward appeared in front of me in a flash. Bella was in his arms. They looked so content together, just holding each other seemed to make them extremely happy. Thank God Jasper wasn't here... "Edward, I'm trying to work. Could you find a_ quieter _activity?"

Edward scowled at me and nodded. "Fun Sucker..." He mumbled.

Edward carried Bella back up the stairs, randomly kissing her face or neck. Upon hearing them close his door, I returned to my office... To find _Emmett _there... Holding up some handcuffs...

He smirked and threw them at me. "May I inquire as to why we have... _Handcuffs_ in your office?" He did a perfect imitation of me. British accent and all.

I pretended to frown at the handcuffs, knowing full well why they were in here. " Emmett, I've _no idea_ why there are handcuffs in my office." I replied turning around to place the handcuffs in the trash.

Emmett chuckled. "Esme might be _mad... _If the _shackles _are gone..." Smiling triumphantly he strode over to me. "I take it at three A.M, you and Esme aren't working...Or cleaning..."

I smiled sheepishly. "Sorry?" Rule Number Four: As Cullen's we all try to keep our.._. Private_ lives..._ Private_.

Emmett pumped the air with his fist. "I _knew_ it!"

I was shocked to say the least. How did Emmett know anything? Emmett the boy that just about crushes Edward's fiancée every time he sees her... "How do you know?" I replied snidely. The British was definitely coming out in my speech.

Emmett 's face was solemn. "You of all people!..." He smirked. "All Cullen women are screamers..."

I shook my head in blatant disbelief as Emmett walked out of the room. Perv.

I sat back down at my desk and reopened the volume I'd closed.

"Jasper! Stop it!" Alice yelled. Oh Joy! The natives were back.

Picturing Jasper's face, he was probably smirking. I walked to the balcony. "Please!"

Suddenly I was hit by a mound of bricks... A _female_ mound of bricks. "Oh Carlisle!" Esme buried her head in my chest. Looking down I saw Rosalie and Emmett... _Reuniting _on the couch.

Alice was standing in the doorway. Her hands were on her hips and Jasper was standing about a foot from her. "Come on!" Alice said.

Jasper frowned. "No! I'm not letting you get hurt..." His golden eyes were large and sincere.

Alice's fake front dropped and she jumped on Jasper. "Oh! I'm so sorry! Jazzy! How could I?" She buried her head in Jasper's shoulder.

He stroked her hair and smiled triumphantly. Looking to Emmett he pointed to their room. Emmett shook his head.

"DUDE! Thats nasty!" Edward was downstairs with Bella immediately.

Emmett straightened his clothes and gathered Bella in a bear hug. I chuckled silently. Esme pressed her lips to mine gently.

"Emmett.. Breathe." Edward grabbed Bella back and set her on her feet.

Emmett smiled. "Hows my favorite human?"

Bella smirked. "You mean the only human stupid enough to come within twenty feet of you?"

Emmett frowned. "That was mean." He nodded to Jasper. Where was Jasper?

Bella strode over to Emmett and hugged him. "I was _kidding." _

"Oh..." Emmett looked actually shocked.

"Jasper." I said. He appeared behind me in the next second.

"What?" He grumbled.

"Are we interrupting?" Rosalie chimed in.

Jasper nodded. "Kinda."

"Okay. We have a question..." Emmett asked.

"Here it is." Jasper threw something at Emmett. A wad of cash. Emmett waved the money in my face, and stuck his tounge out. As Jasper walked by he said one word. "Handcuffs..."

Esme frowned up art me. "Emmett." She whispered. I nodded in response. She growled.

"Want to go clean?" She asked. I smiled and nodded._ Cleaning..._

**Thank you all so much for reviewing my stories!!! I am eternally grateful... I have one more chapter... "Bella" is the last chapter. I start school on Monday, so... Please review!!!! I love you all!!!**


	8. Bella!

**Bella's point of view! Enjoy!!! Thanks, as usual, to my faithful reviewers!!!! **

"_Bella!" _

Darnet! The little pixie was hot on my trail. Edward! Where was he? Very suddenly I felt a pair of cold arms wrap around my torso. "Hello."

All was right again. "Edward!" I shrieked. I threw my arms around his neck and pecked him on the lips.

"I should go away more often..." He chuckled.

I gave him my "death glare", or "bunny-like glare" as Emmett calls it. "Nope. Not happening. I missed you... A lot..."

Edward held me tighter, his voice the finest silk. "I love you." He looked deep into my eyes. Searching for something.

I hated it when Edward was down on himself, for not being able to read my mind. It stunk. "I love you too." He lifted my ring finger. Where his mother's beautiful ring sat. Kissing it he said. "I will love you always and forever."

"COME ON!" Alice was down the hall... With Rosalie... And they were armed. I mean brushes and ten pound

makeup kits.

"Edward! HELP!" I whispered urgently in his ear.

He chuckled musically. "I won't let the mean vampires get you." He assured me. I pouted, making him laugh harder. Soothingly he rubbed my back.

Alice tiny hands were balled into fists. "Mean Vampires?" She said in a flat monotone.

Edward shrugged and nodded. "Mean Vampires." He repeated.

Rosalie was the next to answer. She smiled deviously. "You _really_ shouldn't have said that." Sugar sweetly. I

wasn't buying it for a minute. Edward chuckled and pulled me to his side.

"She won't get you... Even Alice knows that..." He smiled at Alice and saw the intuition.

"Maybe we should go..." Suggested Alice quietly.

"Why?" was Rosalie honestly that stupid.

"Because..." Next second Jasper and Emmett appeared. Wearing some very pink pajamas...

"I lost a dare?" Emmett asked.


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, so there are seven chapters to this story, one fro each CULLEN, but if I get enough reviews I may post some about the Wolves and the Volterri and Jessica and Mike and stuff... SO just tell me what you think. **

**Thanks so much. iluvcarlisle**


	10. The BOOGEYMAN!

**I told you all I would add, so I am. Heres Emmett again... I like picking on Emmett... He he... Enjoy. This is Emmett's point of view. **

We were all together. Everyone. Bella, Edward, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, me, and Rose.

"Do you remember when Emmett decided the boogey man was real?" Alice started shaking with uncontrolled laughter... I rolled my eyes. Cullen Family tales, a mandatory introduction into the family. It was Bella's turn.

And I was "up." Thats what they called it before they start attacking your large, macho ego.

"Really?" Bella looked at me skeptically. I always knew the human was smart, but nobody trusted me... My lips pulled together into a pout.

Rosalie nodded and looked at me. She stroked my cheek. "He wouldn't 'sleep' for weeks!" She smirked.

I frowned at the carpet! HEY! It wasn't my fault Jasper was so convincing! That was all his fault! He told me the

story!

"Um..." Everybody looked at me. Astonished I would speak during my verbal beating. Edward laughed at my thoughts. "Does anybody want to hear my side of the story?" It was a last cry for mercy... And Bella was sold!

"Yes. Can we hear Emmett's side of the story?" She asked meekly. I nodded. It was my turn!

Key the dancing and clapping. YA EMMETT!

"Okay, so it was Halloween and Jasper and I were home _alone._ He told me he had a story to tell me...It was about the BOOGEY MAN..." I stopped. Waiting for somebody to so much as cringe. Nothing happened. Stupid, muscular vampires. "He told me the Boogey Man ate poor vampires named Emmett... AND THATS MY NAME!" I was in hysterics. Thanks Jazz. "I crawled all the way around the house.. Looking for him... The boogey man..." I grimaced at the memory. I had almost killed Jasper's confederate uniform... "I couldn't find him... So I asked Jasper what the Boogey Man's name was..." I smirked. Time for my big finish! "And do you know what he said?" I turned my slightly manic expression on each of my family in turn. "He said the Boogey Man's name was.." Dramatic pause. "CARLISLE!"

Thats when Alice fell off the couch... Laughing.

**POOR EMMETT... **


	11. Ask me about my wiener!

**This is Jasper... Hes gonna be TOTALLY OOC... **

"Ask me about my wiener!" I belted out to the nearly empty house. Alice followed behind me, making grabs at me. Trying to clam me down. "EMMETT! ASK ME ABOUT MY WIENER!"

Emmett looked up from Rosalie's neck, shocked I would interrupt. I walked to him and put my face level with his. "Emmett?" I worked to look calm. "Will you PLEASE do something for me?" I batted my eyelashes, while Emmett looked about ready to puke.

"EMMETT NO!"

"ASK ME ABOUT MY WIENER!" I shouted into his face.

"Jasper Hale! I'm gonna ring your skinny, Confederate ass!" Rosalie shot after me.

"No!" Alice shouted. She chased down Rosalie and explained my predicament.

It had all started in math... Mike Newton and the vile Eric were laughing, and I was curious, so I asked them what was so funny... And Mike told me the inside joke. Ask me about my wiener.

Ah... Carlisle and Esme. BUSY Carlisle and Esme. "CARLISLE!" I burst through the door, a huge, retarded grin plastered on my face. "Me poser des questions sur mes saucisses?" I said. He blinked and translated the garble of my words quickly.

"Ask me about my wiener?" He replied in disbelief.

"Bella... I'm warning you... This isn't good." Edward. YAH!

"EDWARD!" I ran as fast as I could downstairs. "Pregunteme acreca mi wiener!" I asked him. He shook his head and called to Emmett.

"So Jazzy..." It was Alice. "What did you want to tell us about your wiener?"

**He he... My sister inspired this one. **


	12. Hiccup

**This took awhile... I know, and I'm sorry. Here is the next installment in Alice.. **

**Edward's point of View. **

I was sitting with Bella, on a white love seat. It was snowing outside, and she was under a red blanket with me. I would occasionally allow my fingers to walk over the exposed skin at her waist.

"Edward!" Bella groaned my name.

I put my face right under her ear, nestled in her warm, fragrant neck. "Yes?" I breathed. Bella shuddered.

Bella turned around and pinned me with her "teddy bear" glare, as Emmett calls it. "Your such a tease." She breathed.

I brushed my lips against hers. "Thats what you love about me." I murmured.

Bella crawled into my lap. "Maybe..." Bella's fingers walked down my chest. "but I have a feeling that saving my life is... somehow larger."

I smirked at her. "Jasper is frustrated."

"You bet I am!" Jasper yelled from upstairs. "And Alice _isn't here_!" He growled. I could picture him stomping around for the rest of the afternoon because of us.

"Let her shop!" Bella yelled back.

Jasper groaned and appeared downstairs. I glared at Emmett over Jasper's shoulder. "Edward needs Viagra!" Emmett bellowed.

I sat there, pinning Jasper and Emmett with a hard stare. "Remember!" Jasper replied cutely. "the perfect moment can be ruined if you aren't ready..."

Bella was holding back a laugh, but Emmett was making it hard. Emmett was on the floor, laughing very hard. "Its okay." Bella gulped back her laugh and- _**Hiccup. **_

_**Hiccup. Hiccup. **_

"Bella?" I choked back a laugh.

"_**Hiccup- **_Edward- _**Hiccup- **_I got the hiccups!" She rushed out in about four seconds.

I looked at her, waiting for the next hiccup.

_**Hiccup. Hiccup. Hiccup. Hiccup. **_

Emmett covered his ears. "Make the madness stop!" He growled. "WAIT!" He suddenly appeared at Bella's side. "I have an idea." He walked away, blocking his thoughts.

Suddenly, the lights went out. I heard a maniacal cackle, and Bella clutched my to my chest harder. "Its okay..." I murmured stroking her hair. "Emmett McCarthy Cullen!" I bellowed into the darkness. No answer, but a maniacal chuckle.

"BOO!"  
"Holy crow!" Bella jumped off of my lap, and shrieked. "Emmett!"

He turned on the lights. "How are the-?"

_**Hiccup. Hiccup. **_

"Damn!" Emmett stomped his foot. There was now a hole in the floor.

"Esme!" Jasper called. I could read it in his mind, he was daring Emmett. Attempting to emotionally strain him before they fought tonight.

"Yes- Oh..." She trailed off staring at the floor, but when she looked up... I shuddered. "Emmett. McCarthy. Cullen." She whispered deadly calm.

Emmett pointed over his shoulder. "I'm gonna... run." He took off.

Jasper laughed. Then his head jerked toward the door. "Alice." The feeling of love washed over us immediately. Rosalie appeared and made fake retching noises.

'Yuck." Rosalie looked at Bella, and smiled a true genuine smile. "Hey." Her voice was very unsure.

"Hello Rosalie." Bella was delighted that Rosalie had finally excepted her.

_**Hiccup. Hiccup. **_

"Jazzy!" Alice threw herself at Jasper.

"Whoa..." Rosalie met my eyes, and smirked. "We don't want a floor show..." She shuddered.

_**Hiccup. Hiccup. **_

Alice looked at Bella. "Whats _wrong_ with you?" Her topaz eyes were large, and very serious.

I hugged Bella. "Nothing..." Oh. Her shirt.

No, not like its ripped... Its just low... Hello...

"Edward!" Carlisle was snapping his fingers an inch from my face.

I shook my head, attempting to dispel my dirty thoughts. "Yah... Yes?" I asked slowly.

Jasper raised his hand. "Yes Jasper?" Carlisle called on him.

Jasper smirked. "Bella?" She nodded. "Edward likes your shirt..." He trailed off suggestively, moving his eyebrows up and down.

"I do not!" I muttered.

"Don't deny it. I saw where your eyes were..."

The sound was like boulders crashing. "Emmett!" Rosalie put her head in her hands. "Why me? Dear God. What did I do wrong?" She muttered to herself.

He was doing James Bond rolls around the outside of the living room, leaving dents in the floor. Then I realized. "Bella!" I hugged her to me. "Your hiccups! There gone!" I kissed her cheeks, earning a blush.

Esme was advancing on Emmett. I don't think even Jasper could have helped his at this point. "You. Better. Move." She growled.  
I settled back into the couch and watched the day unfold with Bella.

"Your family is so much fun." Bella kissed my cheek, and settled herself back into the shape of my chest.

I cocked my eyebrows. Right. Crazy, revenge seeking vampires, that got their kicks by yelling things about stimulants. _Right... _

_**This was redcarrottop's brilliant idea! So if you liked it, REVIEW! Just for Amy. **_


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